yo all, welcome to my world!

I have been thinking a lot during these past few days. The one thing I have decided is that, I am doing the telethon for sure now. what ever it takes, I am doing the audition video. Some of the people in my family are not really sure about it, because I have to travel to California, but yet, but yet, I have support from everyone. Sure they ask “are you sure you can do this?” but yet I am supported. I am really really really nervous though, but I refuse to let that stand in my way. I am not traveling alone. Sure, I am not independent, but again I won’t let that stop me. traveling alone just feels to scary, more so because I am going to be in a huge city, not knowing anyone. The video has me nervous, because I am not sure how I should stand, how I should sing, do I sing like I usually do? Or do I sing differently? Should my hands be at my sides or should they be folded in front of me? should I use my mike, or should I go with out? Things like that go through my pounding head right now. and what about when I get there? (if I get in.) how will I walk out on stage? Who will guide me? and I carry migraines, what do I do if one strikes? What if I forget my medication? Things like that scare me. I can’t sing with a migraine, believe me I tried. And what if I get out on that stage, go to sing, and the words just leave me? what if my mind goes blank? Then I’ll be letting the MDA and jerry Lewis down. People may ask me, “then why try? If it stresses you out so much, why put yourself through this?” the answer is simple. Because I want to help the MDA. Ever since I heard about Mattie Stepanek, and ever since Billy Gilman became the youth chairperson, the MDA has taken a special place in my heart, and the pin pal project I am doing is not enough anymore. I have got to do more. I have got to make people aware of it, and I don’t know how yet, but the video is a start. Of course I am still studying Afrikaans, nothing will change that. But I want to do more for MDA, somehow I want and need to do more.

Ahh, getting ready for Christmas. Both wonderful and hectic. That’s why I have not been online much lately. Almost ready for Christmas though, so I would love to wish all of you a Mary Christmas, and a happy new year, just in case I don’t come online before Christmas. if I come online at all, it’s probably just to get the new audio theem.

I had no idea, but people are reading my blog, ones that are not on klango. So basically I have my own website and didn’t even realize how big it really was. I could do so much with this, I can inform people about peace and so much more. When I started this blog I never realized just how many people actually do read the blogs on word press. Of course some of the comments I get are spam, but still! It’s a hard thing to rap my head around, to have my blog be read by perfect strangers. Good thing is I can take it to my advantage, and do what I vowed to do five or so years ago, and spread Mattie’s message, and I’ll probably ramble a bit, but this is just a bit over whelming. I could see people reading blogs of groups, but my own personal blog? I just didn’t know I was that interesting lol! well, I’ll try to keep up and keep this up to date, but sometimes I’m not sure what to blog about, so I usually don’t post as often as I should.

Having a lot of snow ? Here’s a treat I use when the snow gets really deep, and I get the winter blues. It’s called snow ice cream. Go gather you some snow, then put some in a small bowl. Use about two table spoons of milk, and two of sugar. Next, mix in as much vanilla as desired, and there you go. Nice treat, for the gloomy days of winter!

As most of you know I have two nieces who are here often. They are nine and seven years old, and let me tell you they can be a hand full. Tonight, however I was talking with mom, and both of my nieces were playing in the kitchen. The seven year old one, (Rachel,) came up to me and asked, “can I play blind?” I didn’t see the harm in it, she was not making fun of me, she was just wanting to learn. So, she asked me, and I said yes, and she did, indeed try walking around with her eyes closed. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself because she kept saying, “why am I tripping? How can you do this?” and indeed she did bump in to a couple walls, but like I said she was not meaning to be mean to blind people, she is only seven, so she just wanted to learn. Later on as I watched TV, my nine year old niece came in and described to me what happened on the show. it’s amazing how kids can pick things up, and with a child’s heart they understand a lot, more then some grown ups I don’t mean all of the adults can’t understand, some can, but some can’t. I can’t explain what I am trying to say, but it does amaze me how kids can be so cute and sweet when you least expect it.

A lot of you ask me, “why don’t you just switch to something like an air card or wireless for your internet?” well it’s simple. The internet survice I have right now can be crappy yes, but I get tec support, even if it has nothing to do with my internet. For example, at one point I needed an anti virus skanner, and had no idea where to turn, so I called my internet provider to ask if they had any ideas. One gentellman in pertecular helps me a lot with things like this. He called me back promply and was quik to tell me of one he used. He then explained that he couldn’t garontee it would work with jaws, but he would be more then happy to find the website. He went on google, and found the website where this anti virus skanner is located. Not only that, he looked up keystrokes for jaws to help me use it! they helped me set up my outlook express, helped me with yahoo, and so much more. All of this for free! I’m never charged for tec support through them, and all though they aren’t the manufacturer of my laptop, I’d call them sooner then I would call dell tec support. Mom asked me to see if I could get them on stand by, just in case she needs help updating her computer to XP, and the same gentellman who helped me earlier with my anti virus skanner problem wrote me back and said “just call when you are ready to update, and I’ll guide you through it.” they don’t have to do this, they could easily say “sorry this is not in my department.” But never once do they say this. Granted they don’t know about jaws and the like, but neither does dell. Dell is a good place, I’m not meaning to bash anyone, but dell does not know about jaws, and you can’t get ahold of someone with out sitting on hold for a while. Not only that, but you are charged for tec support, unless you get the extended worinty. So, this is why I refuse to switch from dialup to wireless/saddalight/air card, because the people at meer net help me with everything from anti virus skanners, to outlook express, to yahoo.

Wow, what a day! It was good and bad at the same time, if that is possible. Woke up this morning feeling good, went out to get some breakfast, then, the phone rang. So I took off running to get to the phone, tripped on this step we have here at my house, tried to grab the door to steady myself, but the door moved back, and it sent me falling backwards, and I fell hard on my back, and now I have a brooz on my elbow and scraped myself a bit. Scared mom half silly though, she thought I was hurt because I said “ouch crap!” lol. I’ll be okay though. Now I’m watching TV, and will probably eat in a second, but wow, what a day!

The last entry spoke of a sad loss, a girl named shylo peppon. I just want to say this. Some people act as if I am making to much of this, and maybe to them, I am. But when you see these people on TV, when you read about them, you feel as if you get to know them, like you are a part of there lives. The people who says the things to put the ones who care down, may act as if they don’t have feelings, but one of these days, someone they care about from TV, Etc will die, rather it be a poet, a singer, or a talk show host these people like, when someone such as this dies, they will think twice before they try to put someone else down for caring. I am not meaning to bash anyone, but I feel this needs saying, and this is, after all, my blog, so forgive me, but I feel it needs stated. Am I wrong for stating this? I sincerely hope this doesn’t make people dislike me, but as I said, I feel it needs to be said.

I have been following a girl named shylo peppon. This girl had a disease that is called mermaid syndrome. That is the short term for it. this causes the legs to be fused together when the child is born. After a lot of thought, and talks with Shylo, her parents decided not to get her legs separated. Her parents felt it was up to her, even though she was only eight years old at the time. They revisited the option at age nine, and again shylo said no. however, last October shylo got a serious serious lung infection. She fought for a week for her life, and lost the battle. She was only 10. I know I didn’t know her, but watching the shows that TLC did with her made me feel as if I did. it is sad that she died so soon, and I do wish sometimes, that things like this did not exist and I always wonder why kids are taken from this world way way to soon.

Okay, someone left a comment on my blog saying that they are looking for updates on Mattie, Etc. they are a guest though, so no way of replying, at least not through klango. How can you reply to guests? Is there a way of doing it? or what can I do to get messages out to them?